I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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