I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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