This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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