Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
