so let's talk penis.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
