I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize