what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
