She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
