Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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