I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
