I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Randomize
