i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
