honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
operation have a gay friend backfired
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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