Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
