There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
