I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
