Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
