Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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