I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I have surprise drugs for everyone
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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