at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
