Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It's never too late to be topless.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
