i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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