It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
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I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
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I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
where are my eyebrows?
Come on in and take your pants off
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