I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
