yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
