what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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