just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
