I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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