5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize