The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize