As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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