i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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