Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol