You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
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He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
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I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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