i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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