if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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