where does the pee come out of this thing
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
