Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
