I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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