Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
