Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
