its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
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Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
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REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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