No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
