I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
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I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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