guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
