Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
