I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
