Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
