dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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