Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
