You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
