You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
