he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
