Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
