Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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