I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
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the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
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Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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