I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
