2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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