you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
