According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
