So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize