There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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