Just mADE A PArabola og urine
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
