I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
