His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
barbara walters just said penis...
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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